Most people think influence comes from talking more.
Being the smartest voice in the room.
Dropping knowledge like grenades.
But here’s the truth you learn only after watching a few real players in action:
Influence isn’t about making people think you’re smart.
Influence is making people feel they are smart.
And the fastest way to do that?
Ask better questions.
But FIRST
If you are new, welcome to OCE’s weekly newsletter curated for the ambitious youth…here are some articles you missed from previous weeks:
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Why No One Successful Wants to Mentor You
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Best tools for building your passion project
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The Future Belongs to Borderless Thinkers
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The Lady Churchill Test
In Supercommunicators, Charles Duhigg tells a story about Lady Randolph Churchill, who once had dinner with two legendary British Prime Ministers.
After meeting William Gladstone, she said:
“I thought he was the cleverest man in England.”
After meeting Benjamin Disraeli, she said:
“I thought I was the cleverest woman in England.”
One left her impressed.
The other left her empowered.
The difference between admiration and inspiration?
How someone makes you feel about your own mind.
Most people go through life trying to be Gladstone.
Leaders become Disraeli.
Influence Isn’t Volume
You don’t need charisma.
You don’t need extroversion.
You don’t need a TED Talk-level voice.
You need one skill:
The ability to ask questions that pull ideas out of people’s heads.
Not because you’re manipulating them — but because you’re activating them.
People open up where they feel seen.
People share ideas where they feel safe.
People trust those who help them hear their own thinking.
This is the part they won’t teach you in school:
Questions build power faster than statements.
The Socratic Method In Action
Most teens hear “Socratic method” and think:
“Oh God, here comes another English class flashback.”
Nope.
This is the quiet power move of world-class founders, diplomats, and operators.
The Socratic Method is simple:
- Ask a question.
- Ask a deeper question about their answer.
- Reflect back what you heard.
- Let them arrive at the insight themselves.
It feels natural, not forced.
It feels respectful, not interrogative.
It shows curiosity without ego.
It’s how mentors guide without lecturing.
It’s how negotiators uncover hidden motives.
It’s how leaders build loyalty.
What It Looks Like in Real Conversations
Most people’s default setting:
Critique Mode.
“Why would you do that?”
“That doesn’t make sense.”
“I don’t think that’ll work.”
Those questions kill trust faster than a bad group project partner.
Instead, switch to Curiosity Mode:
“Help me understand what you saw there.”
“What led you to that idea?”
“What do you think would happen if you tried X?”
“Tell me more about how you got here.”
Same topic.
Different energy.
Completely different outcome.
Why Asking Questions Gives You Influence
People follow the ones who create space — not the ones who take it up.
Because here’s the secret:
People don’t remember what you said.
They remember how smart they felt when talking to you.
The loudest person in the room gets attention.
The most curious person earns trust.
And trust is currency.
Four Habits That Turn You Into a Supercommunicator
These are the moves of people who get invited back into rooms:
1. Give context, not confusion.
Frame the conversation. Bring people with you.
2. Be plainspoken.
Clarity is intelligence in action.
3. Listen for what’s right, not what’s wrong.
Every idea has a seed. Water it.
4. Reflect before responding.
Show them you truly heard them.
None of these require genius.
They require intention.
If You Take One Thing Away
Before your next conversation — with a friend, teammate, adult, mentor, whoever — try this:
Instead of trying to say something smart,
try asking something smart.
The question you ask reveals more about your intelligence than the answer you give.
Be the person who makes others feel capable.
Be the one who leaves people thinking deeper.
Be the one others walk away from saying:
“I feel smarter when I talk to them.”
That’s influence.
That’s leadership.
That’s how you own the room without raising your voice.
Like what you read? Share with friends!
PS. This summer, we are going to tackle pressing global issues and drive innovation in regions (such as your own community) where it is needed the most. Want in?
We run a summer cohort for ambitious youth (high school and undergrads) to work directly with world-class founders while learning from Silicon Valley leaders.
You can also explore purposeful opportunities through our Impact Internship Opportunities Database.
Get Curious.
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Lena
https://www.openclassroomexperience.com/
